My Alcoholic Sweetheart - Part 2

After processing it for a while I decided that I did want to date Jim. We started seeing one another again. Because there was so much chemistry and, judging from the amount of heavy petting and kissing we were doing before, I thought it was probably going to lead to sex. I had only had sex a hand full of times before, a few times with Ray and hand full of times with Tony, so I was a bit apprehensive and afraid.

I was afraid of talking about it with Jim and I was afraid of getting pregnant. I didn't trust relying solely on condoms and I was afraid of getting fat if I went on the birth control pill. I did muster up enough courage to talk to Jim about sex. He was really great about talking with me about it. I did see a doctor and got birth control and Jim and I started having sex. He really was my first lover. He was great. We spent many times together before actually having intercourse because he wanted to make me come first. Where he learned what he knew I have no idea, but he was a wonderful, considerate, gentle lover who showed me, a young woman, what it's like to have a clitoral orgasm.

Wow, it was great and he did that for me often. I didn't talk about my sex life a lot with my girlfriends, but I came to find out over the years through reading and hearing other women talk about sex, that I was pretty lucky. Jim really was the man in my life that enabled me to let go and be more open during lovemaking.

Jim and I dated for almost a year after we graduated. We lived almost 300 miles from one another, but he would come to visit me and I would go and visit him at least once a month. Jim was great and I cared a lot about him, but he always drank a lot too.

We were at a party that the company I worked for at the time was having. I invited Joe and he came up to attend it with me. Several of my friends were there too. At one point my friends and I were talking about a one-day skiing trip that I had won as an employee recognition gift. I was going to take one of my roommates. A little bit later in the evening, Jim asked me about the skiing trip. I told him about it and he was upset that I didn't ask him to go. I was surprised. In all the time we'd been together I didn't see him get upset about anything, really, let a lone a trip to go skiing for a day.

The whole thing caught me off guard. I had not thought about taking Jim. I don't even know why I didn't. I had no idea how to handle the situation, but I do remember how the conversation ended, because what Jim said left a pit at the bottom of my stomach. He raised his drink up a little and said, "That's okay. I've got my gin and tonic. That's all I need." I remember thinking, "Well, that's not good." But, true to my style of not handling things, I brushed it aside. However, when I ended the relationship with Jim about 6 months later, I could look back and see that his drinking had a lot to do with why I didn't want to be with him anymore.

True to Jim's style, he was even very sweet about the break up. He simply said, "Oh. Okay. I'm going to miss your face." I haven't seen Jim since.

~ kalkae